The Singles Gym Blog

Nerdy Girls - Smart, Techie and Hot!

Having spent three whole days recently on an internet marketing course, locked in a hotel room with fourteen others and as many laptops, I was delighted to read Vanessa Richmond's recent article about the rise of the sexy nerd girl or Revenge of the Nerdette, if you prefer.

Now three days in a deep and meaningful relationship with my laptop might not sound too extraordinary to you - but what you don't understand is that I have spent my whole life in fear of computers and all the techie stuff that goes with it.

Talk about coming out of my comfort zone!!

I was so exhausted when I got home, it took me two days to recover from all the information that was thrown at me.

Yeah, yeah, the late nights on the dance floor didn't help either.

Back at the course though, I hit a brick wall on the second morning. I wasn't getting it, I was falling behind the class and was just about to resign myself to the fact that I just couldn't do this.  It has after all been a belief I've nurtured for years.

Drastic action was needed now or I knew I might just give up in exasperation and walk out.  So, I got up, left the class, headed for the ladies room, sat on the throne, did some deep breathing, some EFT tapping and set a clear intention for that day (you can just imagine how ridiculous all that must have looked...

Dating Lessons from the Golfing World

I pulled out my golf clubs the other day and dusted them off.  I haven't touched them since last summer.  I'm a fair-weather golfer and considering the number of 'fair weather' days we have in England you can guess how infrequently I play.  When people ask me what my handicap is, I assure them that golf is my handicap!

What amazes me is how well I play the first time I go to the golf course after such a long break and how much less well I play the more times I play.

What I've figured out is that it has to do with my expectations.  When I play for the first time, I'm thinking "I'll be pleased if I can just hit that damn little white ball!"  And I actually do pretty well and am feeling pretty pleased with myself.

The more times I play, however, the higher my expectations become.  The next time, I don't just want to hit the ball but I want to hit the ball straight down the fairway. Then the next time I want to hit it 200 yards and straight down the fairway.  And then the next time I want to consistently hit it 200 yards and straight down the fairway.

As my expectations about what I expect for myself change so does my inner talk and as my inner talk changes so my game changes.  My inner dialogue moves from, "what a gorgeous day, I'm just so pleased to be here and if I can hit the ball I'm happy" all the way to "I've got to hit this ball, and I've got to hit it 200 yards, down the fairway.  And finally it add, I need to be sure I don't hit it into that ****** bunker!"  Can you guess where it goes?!!

Alpha Female Relationships: Part Two - The Real Solution

In part one of Alpha Female Relationships, I wrote about the dilemma that wealthy, successful women seem to face when choosing a partner and finding happiness in a relationship.

Based on the stereotypes that the alpha male is threatened by the alpha female, and a relationship between the two would only lead to conflict, the solution on offer for the alpha female seemed to be to choose the beta male.

However taking a closer look revealed that the real issue often lies more in values and self esteem, than stereotypes.

So what's the real solution?