It was hard to fathom in this day and age, but here I was listening to a story about someone who was so ashamed of being single that she went to great pains to pretend to the world that she was in a relationship.
I was having lunch at a seminar I was attending in London yesterday and chatting with one of the other delegates about my online business for singles, at which point she shared the story of her friend with me. She told me that whenever her friend went shopping she would buy two of everything so people wouldn’t discover her dreadful secret - that she was single. Likewise at work, all her colleagues believed she was in a relationship. Extraordinary behaviour!
As I see it, the problem for this woman wasn’t that she is single , rather it was more about what it meant to her to be single. Somehow being single -- in her mind -- gave a negative reflection of who she is in the eyes of others.
The core issue for this woman was twofold. This was, firstly, an issue about her sense of (or lack of sense of) 'self'. And secondly, how she measured her sense of 'self' by externals – basing her sense of 'self' on what she believed others thought about her.
Let's face it, being single hasn't always been viewed in a positive light.
Have you ever been met with statements like "you are just so amazing, I can't believe you haven’t been snatched up!" The unspoken question being – "what’s wrong with you?"
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