The Singles Gym Blog

An Awesome Singleton Christmas - Ten Reasons why Being Single at Christmas is simply fabulous.

Being single around the holidays can get you extra seasonally depressed.  Everywhere you go, you see couples choosing knick-knacks together, buying new Christmas decorations, holding hands and kissing in front of store windows.  They seem so blissfully happy which just makes you feel even worse as you are face Christmas on your own.

I've been there and yes, I've had a great time - being in love and getting showered with expensive gifts!  There is no denying it, it’s great when you are in a happy relationship during the holiday season.  The problem is that when you are single again, it’s so easy to think about the idea of being in a relationship with rose tinted glasses, remember the good times and forget all the bad times.   It’s to easy to indulge in a bit of self pity and convince yourself of how miserable it is being single at Christmas.

And to make matters worse, well-meaning - (but slightly annoying!) friends and relatives keep asking you whether you have met that ‘special’ person yet and you have to admit that that special someone still hasn’t materialized.

 “Did you meet anyone interesting last night?” asks your Mom after your work holiday party.

“Are you seeing anyone special?” asks your aunt at Christmas dinner, after glancing at your empty ring finger?

“You work so hard, do you even have time for a relationship?” asks your nosy coworker after a bit too much punch.

In my last blog, I wrote about how easy it is when you are feeling this way to fall into the holiday relationship trap  If you are single this Christmas, rather than pressure yourself to be in a relationship, or stick with someone who really isn’t right for you, how about remembering the awesome things about being single during the holidays!

So here it is, my top ten reasons why being single at Christmas is awesome!

The Holiday Dating Trap

Have you ever noticed that there is a major jump in the need for a date around the holidays?  As a single person, you may feel pretty much fine all year, but once November comes to an end and December hits...YOU NEED A DATE!

I was reading the results of a poll for single people. The results of one question in particular really highlighted  this dating conflict that seems to happen during the holidays.  The question was: 

How important is it to you to be dating someone during the holidays?

Interestingly enough, only 20% of the 7500 people polled said that it was not really all that important, meaning that, even if you are fine being single the rest of the year, at this time of year 80% of you feel it is important to be dating someone for the holidays.

Those figures seem to correlate with what I notice about my single friends.  The closer we get to the Christmas holiday, the more the pressure they seem to feel that they should be dating someone “special”.

So which group do you fall in for the holidays?  Are you part of the  80% or part of the 20%? If you are in the 80% where do you think all the pressure comes from to “be with someone special” during the holidays? Is it what you think society expects of single people, or is it just pressure you put on yourself?

Whatever, the reason, if you are one of those that fall into the 80% holiday dating trap – beware!   You are coming from a very needy position and that means:

• Your expectations or standards are likely to drop and you are more likely to compromise the very things that are important to you in a happy relationship.

• You are at greater risk of making some horrible dating mistake that will turn into a story that your friends and family remember and remind you of for a long time to come.

• You have to figure out what you do once the holidays are over.  Do you stay in the relationship because you’re in it now, even when you realise it isn’t your ideal one, or do you go through the pain and the consequences of a break-up?

If you are in the 80% category, it might be worth taking a closer look at those people that are in the 20% category.   Look at how they are and how they approach the holiday season. I think what you may find is that those people may actually  be enjoying their holidays  more than you are.

If you fall in the 80% category, take a step back and try to relax a little bit on the dating scene for the holidays. Take solace in knowing that there are at least 20% of single people that are not stressing  about a date for the holidays and they are enjoying their holidays.