Every year on January 1st we make resolutions to manifest our dreams – maybe it’s a better job, more money, a new home, or and exotic holiday. Why not do the same for your love life? If you ready to be in a relationship and you want to find your ideal partner, why not make that your new years resolution? You can choose to be the author of your own love story. One woman who is taking control of her love life is Neenah Pickett.
Neenah, is a woman on a mission to find her ideal man in 52 weeks. She is a 42-year-old media consultant from New Jersey. Neenah launched a website on Thursday, New Year’s Day, called www.52weeks2findhim.com . Her mission is to meet her future husband by New Year's Eve 2009.
It might be considered online dating to the extreme, but Neenah thinks it's so simple, it just might work. A man can just go on her site and fill out a profile. Rather than trawling through hundreds of dating adverts, a man can easily go to her website and learn about her and watch the videos. And it’s not just her picture you see. You see lots of different pictures of her and she has posted videos on her site too. She has friends talking about her and she has enlisted the help of a life coach on her mission to find her ideal partner.
While that may not feel like the right approach for you here are 10 dating tips that will help make your love life sizzle in 2009 and best of all, these tips are all under your control. If you put in the time, effort and commitment, you can be the author of your love story.
1. BE OPEN- Often we decide something is not right for us before we even give it a try! For example, I hear many singles say, ‘Online dating is for losers.’ They have never tried it before, yet are making a negative judgement call. If you do this sort of nay-saying, take a step back and try something new. It obviously does work as I hear more and more about people who found each other through online dating. If what you’re doing isn’t working try something new or different. You never know what will come of it…
2. GET A LIFE - Often singles wait around for the perfect partner to come save them from their unhappiness or to make them feel good about themselves. Meanwhile they won’t travel, buy a house, take a holiday or pursue their own dreams. If you are happy with who you are and you love your life, you are much more interesting and attractive. Write down some things you’d love to do this year and make them happen for yourself. You’ll be a radiant and more interesting date.
3. LEARN TO DEAL WITH REJECTION- “No” is just a word like yes. Often when we are rejected, we go into what i call a ‘freefall.’ We reject ourselves, we tell ourselves that no one will want to date us, which then makes us feel worse about ourselves and in the end we give up – thereby creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you want the person that is right for YOU, then being rejected is just a normal part of the dating process. Rather than seeing it as being rejected, think of it as a ‘sifting’ process. The ‘rejections’ are just a form of sifting out until you find the person that is ideal for you. Just move on and keep dating.
4. BE CLEAR ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT- It helps to be clear about what you really want when you are looking for the right mate. Take some time and make a list of the qualities that are most important to you. Also know what you won’t accept. Make sure your list is reasonable because no one is perfect. Think more in terms of your enduring core values. It is at the level of values that couples are made or broken. With your eye on the target you are sure to hone in on more appropriate matches.
5. TAKE CONSISTENT ACTION- In order to manifest goals, we need to take action. Pick two things a week that you will do to meet new people and hold yourself accountable for going out. To get the best results, you need to be willing to put in the time and effort. If you don’ do this, you will only find the partner of your dreams while you are sleeping.
6. ENLIST HELP- Everyone does better with a cheerleader or team. If dating is hard for you, enlist some support. Gather your single friends to go out with you to events. Ask the people who love you to fix you up. If you want confidential support, consider hiring a professional dating coach like myself, to keep you in action and on track this year.
7. LOOK BEYOND ‘YOUR TYPE’- Often we pick the same partners again and again, even if the package looks different. As I constantly say, if what you are doing isn’t working, now is the time to try something new. Sometimes it’s the man an inch shorter than your height restriction that sweeps you off your feet and proposes, or it’s the woman who is older than your age restriction that you meet and who makes you happier than you ever dreamed possible. Get out of your own way and give someone new a chance. You may be very glad you did.
8. LEARN WHAT ‘STOPS YOU” IN DATING & MOVE PAST IT- Examine your past dating patterns, limiting beliefs, actions or defensive styles. To learn more about this, get my e-course Get Real! 3 Steps To Creating Your Ideal Relationship. Get some relationship coaching and understand how you get in your own way.
9. STAY POSITIVE- Just because you haven’t met the partner of your dreams yet, doesn’t mean you should give up on love. Commit to having a terrific year and meeting all kinds of new prospects. Begin your dating year with a powerful context like, ‘This year will be the best romantic year yet!’
10. LEARN FROM EVERYONE YOU MEET- Just because each date won’t turn out to be your husband, does not mean that it was a waste of time. Choose to appreciate something and learn something from every date. It will leave your dates feeling great and you will find dating to be a much more positive and valuable experience then ever before.
Happy Dating and have a terrific year!
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