The Singles Gym Blog

‘Love Drug’ Offers New Hope for Shy Men

A new ‘love drug’ which may offer hope to millions of shy people is being researched by scientists in US, Europe and Australia.  Oxytocin, a hormone that is naturally produced during sex and childbirth, promotes romantic feelings and helps mothers bond with their newborn babies.

According to the Daily Mail, research is showing that this hormone reduces anxiety levels, eases phobias and facilitates social contact.  This is also found to be a safe product with no side effects, and it isn’t addictive - positively good news for the 60% of Britons who suffer from shyness.

And this is great news for shy men in particular.  Living in a society where it is still commonly assumed that men take the initiative when it comes dating, this new discovery will offer new hope for millions.  I recently received an email from a young man who described how his shyness was crippling his life.  He was too shy to speak to women, much less ask one out on a date and he feared that meeting and falling in love with someone would elude him forever.  This new ‘love drug’ may offer hope for him and for millions of shy men, who until now have been suffering in silence.  For these men, dating success may not be so far off on the horizon after all!

Times are changing: Part Two - How do you respond to change?

Yesterday I was talking about the growing trend of men and women deliberately choosing the single life over a family life, how things have changed, and that it's what you do with change that counts.

In reality, what usually happens in times of change or transition is a sense of confusion and instability, and there are some quite different ways that people deal with change. One way is to attempt to hold on to the "old" - have you noticed the proliferation of the gender books:  men are from. . .women are from....?  In this scenario change is resisted.

Another and opposite approach is for the pendulum to swing from one extreme to the other - a bit like going from the Victorian age to the Flower Power and "Spread the Love" age.  In this scenario it's more to do rejecting the old than embracing change. Everything to do with the old is thrown out and what you end up with is taking the extreme opposite position.

Times are changing: Part One - Men and Women Choosing Solo Life over Family Life

A couple of weeks ago I noticed two articles about the growing number of men and women who are choosing NOT to be in a relationship.

The first one was about a bachelor Carl Weisman, who wanted to find out why a growing number of men, like himself, were shunning marriage and opting to stay single.  According to the article, he surveyed 1,533 men and concluded that these men were not afraid of marriage per se but that they were afraid of a bad marriage and that they were more afraid of marrying the wrong person than of never getting married at all. 

The second article suggested that women, in greater numbers, are now choosing the single life over the demands of the family life. According to these women, they believe they can be happy and fulfilled without having a partner. The name coined for women making this choice was "Freemale," which made me wonder: what would the term be for men who make this choice?

The Pseudo-Intimacy Game - Sex Sells But Can't Buy You Real Intimacy

I normally don’t watch a lot of television.  I have so many exciting things going on in my life that watching television for hours on end just seems like such a waste of time to me.   I do, however, like to have some background noise on when I ‘m working on my laptop.  So there I was at 11:00pm,  sitting on my sofa last Thursday (24th April) evening with my laptop (I know, get a life!), tweaking some bits on my new website when the television caught my ear – Channel Five was about to broadcast A Girls Guide to 21st Century Sex. 

                       Have you heard of ‘mummifying’ or the ‘X’ position?

Well, what can I say – I was compelled to watch this.  So I quickly shut off my laptop, put it away and I spent the next 45 minutes learning about group sex, sex toys, the ‘X’ position, mummifying and some awful skin disorder that affects the genital area – I can’t even remember what it was called – not nice!

Being Single - Advantage or Health Risk

Is Being Single a Health Risk?

“A happy marriage lowers blood pressure.”   I read this headline as I sat in a warm sunny corner of the spa where I was staying at for a weekend to escape the windy, cold and snowy weather that had descended for the Easter weekend.

The study, being reported by David Gardner in the Daily Mail (28 March 2008), shared the results of a study that compared the blood pressure of 204 married and 99 single adults at random intervals throughout the day and night.  The conclusion of the study, as reported by Gardner, suggested that happily-married couples are more likely to live longer and be healthier and fitter than those who are single. 

It doesn’t take rocket science to figure out what the solution being offered might be if you want to be healthy, fit and live longer – get married! 

Something, however, didn’t seem quite right to me as I re-read the headline. "Happily married have lower blood pressure than singles."